I’m searching for a hint of falseness. The more I can’t find any, the more energy I’m imbued with. Even though I’m standing atop Mount Kosciuszko, feeling happy might seem odd given the life changer spanner sent my way the day before. Looking at my face in the photo of me standing on top of Australia reassures me. I look at this photo on my phone and zoom in with my fingers to scrutinise my expression some more. Yes, I really do look happy.

Picking up my speckled granite rock, an ancient stone chip created in explosive volcanic times, I slot it into my cupped hand as if slipping it into an envelope. I feel power and strength transmitted to me as I do this. It strengthens my psyche and empowers my flesh. In my mind I think about the overall deep seated knowledge that I WILL be the same as I was that day on top of the highest mountain in Australia nearly a year ago.

Two years ago, I picked up that rock chip from the side of the road close to the summit, and kept it near the front door in among’st a stack of other colourful pieces I’ve collected from here and there. I didn’t know then how important it would be to me in the future but I remember carefully selecting a rock that had a shape that felt easy in the hand.  After that summit run last January, it has been my micro generator throughout the year when I’ve often needed a mental kick start. A reminder that my body will be okay and I’ll still be able to run and do everything I did before, even though my body has been ravished by surgery and chemotherapy. I WILL be the same. Maybe even better…somehow.

The granite is part of the main range where Mount Kosciuszko sits high up over the blue land far around. Several years ago, in a shallow valley to the north-east of the summit, I walked alone between the snow drifts. There were shallow peat pools and a ground cover of soft pale grey green snow grass. As I walked close to a jagged black rock tor that towered over me, I heard a roaring sound like that of a jet flying overhead. It reminded me of the earthquake I experienced in the Kimberleys in remote Western Australia which sounded like about eight jumbo jets. The loud rumbling sound penetrated the air and a sort of shimmer wave moved past me and wooshed away across the alpine valley. Looking around, there was no wind moving the white paper daisies or the snow grass. No jets in the electric blue sky, nothing. All I know was what I felt and heard, and I can only describe it as perhaps a spirit or some type of energy I had flushed from the tor. No malevolence, just kind of it.

In January this year, as I ran over that solid and dark, speckled ground to the summit I felt a great sense of power in the land. I thought about the energy spirit thing that ‘resides’ a few hundred metres from where I ran. The day before, I had phoned my doctor for the results of a biopsy test and he told me that I had breast cancer. Four days of preparation in my head helped me prior to hearing this news. I had rationalized stuff. The twenty two kilometre run solidified my rationalizations. I did feel good.

I was grounding myself to the earth with every step. I was confident then in returning to my normal self after the year of treatment. I have been confident during the year of surgery and treatment with a little help from my speckled rock and from strong human support that I have been so lucky to have gained. I am still confident. I trust my knowing myself. Soon I’ll be back in the strong powerful granite lands with my body intact and pretty much back to normal with another smile like the one in my photo.

**      ***      **

If you’d like to find out how it felt when I returned to the high country, read Story 3 Summit Run-Closing the Loop -2 min read.

Other stories in this series of Sourcing Strength are; The Summit Run and The Summit Run, Closing the Loop.

You can read more stories in my series about Encounters with Wild Animals such as a Great White Shark, horses, snakes, whales, rock possums, bull buffalo and spiders

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