Author: Dr Myfanwy Webb

Signposts To The Past – Albert St to Anthony Crescent

My late mother’s historical book, Signposts To The Past – Stories of Places and Streets of Bouddi Peninsula is close to completion. My daughter Kalena, and I have been working like rats in a tip with Mum’s final project. So many details in creating this complex book to get exactly right! From copyright to indexing to taking and dating photos.

Our launch will be at Wagstaffe later in the year.

To show you the design style, here is the start of Chapter 3, Albert Street to Anthony Crescent.

CLICK HERE for more about the book

 


 

A day forever permeated by the smell of peppermint and wet eucalyptus. A day I wish never happened.

Deleting Vincent – A Female Killer’s Confessions (Post 1)

Have you ever thought that someone’s death was the result of murder and not suicide as stated by police? How many murderers are out there that get away with by staging suicide? There are occasional cases where the truth is revealed, with a murderer caught. How often are the clues missed?

While working as a researcher into suicide deaths, I came to suspect there are more misidentified cases than people are led to believe. I wrote this fictional story to draw attention to this taboo topic of suicides and homicides.

Ashli lost her best friend Debbie, to a man who she always believed staged her death. Debbie feared Vincent. She wasn’t wanting to harm herself. A chance situation where Debbie saw the dismissive actions of police when a woman apparently overdosed, began the unravelling of Ashli’s mind. The consequences were horrific with Ashli confessing in devastating detail what it took to finally delete Vincent.

HOW DO PEOPLE FEEL DEEP WITHIN THEIR CORE when they take absolute control of another person’s life? Today is the day. I have prepared and I will be exhilarated. They were my thoughts on that otherwise typical, spring day in 2007. A day forever permeated by the smell of peppermint and wet eucalyptus. A day I wish never happened.

Edited by Karin Cather Ex-Prosecutor/Forensic Editor

Soon to be launched as Paperback and E Book

How to Assess Your State of Mind

This is a modified post from one I wrote for my Target Cancer Naturally site (I removed the cancer bits) . I describe here a simple tool to assess your state of mind, something I think is useful for anyone, not just people diagnosed with cancer. It also links in with my book, Stages of Suicide-How to Help your Mind which I am happy to say is now published in paperback form.

The Wolf with my book


How to Assess Your State of Mind

Introduction

We may be good at assessing ourselves for physical pain and then doing something to relieve that pain. We are not however, always as good at assessing how stressed we are and then doing something to relieve that pressure. There are extensive benefits for people to become good at identifying what specific psychological stressors they may be experiencing and then advocating for themselves to reduce stress and pressure relating to these. These stressors may be financial, physical, emotional, social, practical or spiritual or religious. Monitoring the mind and being proactive in ways to prevent mental deterioration are important components in dealing with life in general. Feeling good mentally helps the immune system tackle illnesses and life’s setbacks.

Here, I describe one of two tools to assess and help the mind. The second tool relates to the contents of a book I recently published in paperback form with a detailed mind monitoring Tool.

Tool 1 – Assess your mind with the Distress Thermometer.

Tool 2 – Prepare for and assist your mind in the event it becomes irrational and unsafe using techniques in the book Stages of Suicide-How to Help Your Mind.

 

Tool 1- The Thermometer

This gauge was designed for cancer patients and is also an easy and useful tool for anyone regardless of physical health.

Circle the number (0-10) that best describes how much distress you’ve had during the past week, including the present day.

Choose a number from 0 to 10 that reflects how much distress you feel today and how much you felt over the past week. Ten is the highest level of distress you can imagine, and 0 is no distress. Most people can use this scale to rate their distress in a way that helps the cancer care team. If your response is 4 or above, you likely have a moderate-to-high degree of distress. Your doctor and/or cancer care team should find out more and offer some help with your distress.

The American Cancer Society explains,

“Not only does this tool tell your team about your emotional health, but it also gives you a chance to talk and work out problems during your visit. Surveys done in cancer clinics have shown that up to 4 in 10 patients have significant levels of distress. You are not alone in your distress.”

“Another part of the distress tool is the Problem List, or a list of things that may be causing your distress. For this, you read through a list of common problems and mark possible reasons for your distress. This helps your cancer care team know where you can best get the help you need. The list of physical problems helps you remember those you should tell your treatment team about.”

For those without a cancer care team, your General Practitioner is an important person to assist you and perhaps organise referrals regarding ticked items on the Problem List.

CLICK HERE for PDF of Problem List from NCCN Guidelines Version 1.2024 Distress Management and see below.

CLICK HERE to see more about this from the American Cancer Society Information.

The Distress score evaluates emotional distress and risk of suicide in patients with cancer. Clinically, for DT scores greater than 5 in patients with cancer, the risk of suicide greatly increases. 3

If your score is greater than 5, then you are at psychological risk and you should seek help from your General Practitioner, Psychologist, Counsellor, Psychiatrist, Medical Practitioner etc.

Once stressors are identified, then taking actions to reduce their negative effect on your mind will likely expand your times of feeling good.

Steps

  1. Identify Stressors (using problem list).
  2. Prioritise stressors according to intensity.
  3. Brainstorm ways to reduce these as stressors.
  4. Take positive action.

Problem List

Physical Concerns

 Pain

 Sleep

 Fatigue

 Tobacco use

 Substance use

 Memory or concentration

 Sexual health

 Changes in eating

 Loss or change of physical abilities

 

Emotional Concerns

 Worry or anxiety

 Sadness or depression

 Loss of interest or enjoyment

 Grief or loss

 Fear

 Loneliness

 Anger

 Changes in appearance

 Feelings of worthlessness or being a burden

 

Social Concerns

 Relationship with spouse or partner

 Relationship with children

 Relationship with family members

 Relationship with friends or coworkers

 Prejudice or discrimination

 

Practical Concerns

 Taking care of myself

 Taking care of others

 Work

 School

 Housing

 Finances

 Insurance

 Transportation

 Child care

 Having enough food

 Access to medicine

 

Spiritual or Religious Concerns

 Sense of meaning or purpose

 Changes in faith or beliefs

 Death, dying, or afterlife

Other Concerns

 

Reference

  1. Chiang YC, Couper J, Chen JW, Lin KJ, Wu HP. Predictive value of the Distress Thermometer score for risk of suicide in patients with cancer. Support Care Cancer. 2022;30(6):5047-5053.

Tool 2- Detailed Mind Monitoring Tool with Stages of Suicide-How To Help your Mind Book

You may also benefit from monitoring your mind using techniques in the short book Stages of Suicide-How to Help your Mind. When you are feeling good, it is worth setting aside time to prepare and work out some steps to take in preparation for bad times when you might experience indicators of pre-suicide stages. Monitoring your actions and emotions is valuable here. This book explains the six stages people can experience and describes practical ways to identify if you are experiencing them. Practical tools are included to help with maintaining a rational and safe mind.

CLICK HERE for tips on How To Optimise Your Mind  and  CLICK HERE for Free Printable tools

 

Two New Book Chapters out

Two of my book chapters are now published. Yay!

Rock Ringtail Possum Petropseudes dahli and Scaly-tailed Possum Wyulda squamicaudata

STRAHAN’S MAMMALS OF AUSTRALIA 4th Edition 2023

$199.99 AUD  Hardback

Rock Ringtail Possum Petropseudes dahli

Scaly-tailed Possum Wyulda squamicaudata

If you are after a book for identifying mammals in the field, this field guide is excellent. (My related rockpossum chapters are in here as well).

If you’d like to read my magazine articles about rockpossums, click below.

If you’d like to read my academic papers about rockpossums click below.

Excerpts from Mum’s historical book : Bombora and Bouddi Farm

My mother, Beverley Runcie was close to completing her book about place names of the Bouddi Peninsula – Indigenous and European when she unexpectedly fell ill last October. She passed on after fighting hard to survive. I am now finalising her book for her and I thought I’d share with you some preview excerpts from it. Mum loved words and writing and gained a Master’s degree in Literature. Her book blends her passions of history, words and the bush into a fascinating read about a special part of the earth. Brief excerpts are below.

Myfanwy Webb (left) with Beverley Runcie (right)

The Bouddi Peninsula lies on the north side of the entrance to Broken Bay in New South Wales. It is approximately 100 kilometres by road and only 40 kilometres ‘as the crow flies’ from Sydney. The Peninsula is largely a plateau rising to the highest point of 160 metres at Mt Bouddi within the Bouddi National Park. It has spectacular views over the Pacific Ocean to Manly, Palm Beach, Broken Bay, and Pittwater to the south and Brisbane Water to the north and west.

Early map showing indigenous place names by surveror Felton Mathew 1831

BOMBORA

Beginnings

A bombora is an isolated shallow area in the sea some distance offshore where waves break over a submerged rock, shelf or reef. It can be a shipping hazard as when the sea is calm or at high tide the bombora is not easily seen.

The word is believed to come from a Dharuk Aboriginal word ‘bumbora’ and first used for the bombora in Sydney Harbour at Dobroyd Point. That bombora is now officially named Gowlland Bombora after Commander John Gowlland who drowned there when his boat capsized in 1874.  The Dharawal people from the south coast used the word ‘bumbura’. Bombora is one of the few Aboriginal words which have passed into Australian English. It is commonly abbreviated to ‘bommie’ or ‘bommy’.

The word bombora has been listed by F.C. Bennett in 1968 as an Aboriginal word meaning ’water swirling around sunken rocks’ which is as good a description as any.

Putty Bombora (West Reef) looking out from Bullimah Beach. Photo by Myfanwy Webb

History

There are two bomboras off the Bouddi Peninsula. The larger is off the east end of Maitland Bay and is called the Maitland Bombora. This is registered with the Geographical Names Board of NSW.  The smaller bombora is off the east end of Putty Beach and is named on some maps as East Bombora. Note however, the Royal Australian Navy’s hydrographic survey map of Broken Bay names the Maitland Bombora as East Reef and the Putty Beach bombora as West Reef.”

BOUDDI FARM, Killcare Heights

History

Situated at 251 The Scenic Road, Bouddi Farm was the home of Australian artist Russell Drysdale (1912-1981) and his wife Maisie. The property adjoining the Bouddi National Park was bought by the Drysdales in 1964. Drysdale commissioned architect Guilford Bell to design the house, which was in three pavilions, one each for sleeping, living and working although a separate studio was built a little later. The house, finished in 1966 faced north with extensive views over bushland and Brisbane Water and it was here that Drysdale and his wife entertained family and friends, many of them local.

Drysdale was knighted in 1969. He lived and painted at Bouddi Farm until his death in 1981. Maisie Drysdale remained at Bouddi Farm until she died in 2001 and the property was sold the following year.

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Stages of Suicide: How to Help Your Mind BOOK is now published.

STAGES OF SUICIDE: HOW TO HELP YOUR MIND

is now available to buy

 

CLICK HERE TO BUY

 

This guide is a short explanation of the six stages of suicide with practical activities to help you prepare and assist your mind in the event it becomes irrational and unsafe.

Roy Baumeister, a social psychologist described these stages that people experience prior to carrying out suicidal acts.

Included is a mind-monitoring tool to assist you in identifying if your mind is displaying signs of reacting within the various six stages. This tool provides actions you can do to support your mind. A link to a printable PDF of the tool is included.
At the end of this guide, you can find a list of help crisis hotlines for various countries.

My original article is independently described as a:

Very good report, written in a humanistic way. The observed stages of suicide are of serious scientific interest, i.e. can help in preventive terms.

 

The more you understand how your thoughts and emotions respond in irrational ways the more you can transform your actions beyond the influence of an unhelpful mind to that of a supportive mind and live freely and fully.

If you are a therapist, this is a useful resource for your clients. It also is filled with illuminating content for those people curious about the irrationality of our minds and how to prevent that from interfering with our quality of life.


Stages of Suicide is an excellent insight into the though patterns of those dealing with suicide. Each stage very well describes the kind of thoughts, behaviours and emotions one feels as their condition continues, which I found extremely accurate and relatable. As for someone who has experienced these stages second hand, this is an incredible tool that can help non-suicidal people understand what it is like to be suicidal which I believe is one of the most important things for dealing with suicide on the larger scale.

After each stage there is a ‘prepare your mind’ section which works as a helping hand/’what to do about this’ counterpart of the stage. I found this to be really useful in not only making the content a lot less daunting and overwhelming to take in, but the reader is reminded that regardless of what stage you find yourself or someone close to you in there is always a solution to help you get out of it, which is exactly how this book approaches the terror of suicidal ideation.

Moreover, the mind monitoring tool at the end seems incredibly useful to help the user understand their own thoughts and emotions as they go through stages as well as help to generate some rational thinking patterns.

Overall this is an extremely insightful and practical helping hand for those dealing with suicide. Definitely recommend this to anyone who are either going through it or know someone who is, this book can help!

 – Rhys Jones


Feel free to contact me below.


WILD: LIFE DEATH ECOUNTERS WITH WILD ANIMALS

Genre – Adventure Memoir.

 

CLICK HERE TO BUY.

 

An exert from this series of true adventure stories can be read free click below

CLICK HERE FOR ONE CHAPTER FREE

 


Reviews From Australia

cristobel
Wild Ride

Reviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on 18 October 2021

“It’s not often I find myself holding my breath as I read a book, however in the opening story of Wild: Life death encounters with wild animals, I was doing exactly that.

The shark encounter at Murramarang Beach raised those old fears which were embedded into everyone who watched the 1975 classic, Jaws. I watched that film as a child and was terrified for some time of the overcast days at the beach, when you couldn’t see what was under the surface. Even though I know Dr Myfawney Webb, and am familiar with many of her stories of an adventurous life, I was still riveted to the pages of my kindle as I followed her narrative of the shark encounter.

Myfawney has a knack for bringing you into her experiences, through the truth of the tales within this book and the authenticity of her voice.

It’s a real talent to be able to convey emotions such as desperation, fear, sadness and terror while staying true and real to her story.

Dr Webb has achieved this, and it was a real joy to see her stories brought to life with such passion.

I can highly recommend this book to any lovers of adventure, wildlife, Australian experiences and those who like to read a book perched on the edge of their seat.”

Helen Menzies
5.0 out of 5 stars Journeys with Myf

Reviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on 17 October 2021

“It seems to happen in my life that I set out for an adventure and it’s dramatically rearranged by the gods into one of those deep priceless experiences.”
So says Dr Myf Webb in Life Death Encounters, and it’s no exaggeration. The book is a stirring tale of derring-do, told in an authentic down-to-earth no-fuss Australian voice.
“I … reflected on how I had somehow survived three direct active threats on my life by three very different types of animal, a Great White Shark, an Eastern Brown Snake and now a wild buffalo bull.”
To that list of adventures the spellbound reader can add spiders, wild horses, wild donkeys, beached whales, the hunt for secretive possums as part of her doctorate work, and being thrown from her horse when it was attacked by a bull-Arab hunting dog intent on murder.
Phew.
Most of these stories were written by Mfy Webb during her year-long treatment for cancer. In a lifetime of challenges this was yet another to overcome. The details of that adventure are yet to be published, but readers of Life Death Encounters will know to anticipate another inspiring journey of curiosity and courage.”

menace aforethought
5.0 out of 5 stars Wild by Nature

Reviewed in Australia 🇦🇺 on 3 October 2021

“It’s wonderful to see these works collected into a book. These are stories not just of the wild, but of the inner being, how we tread our path through the world, how we learn about ourselves and how to become a fully engaged person through challenges that we sometimes seek and which are sometimes thrown at us by life.
The stories not only surprise with the breadth of Myf’s experience from her work as a mammal specialist, travelling and living in remote Australia, but also in her love of animals and the wilderness in general. She takes on an immersing ride surfing, fascinated by a shark attack until the reality of the risk finally hits home. ‘This is the first time in my life I have completely and absolutely maxed out on exerting my body physically.’ We are there with her, feeling that intense moment, the stress of trying to get back to shore when there are no waves to help and splashing could be the worst possible idea! Fortunately, this is followed by ‘White and pure EUPHORIA’, and she is safe on the shore. But danger was never far behind her in the bush while she studied mammals, or even when she was young, and being confronted with angry brown snakes as well as death adders, yet that didn’t seem to faze her. Although she has learnt to respect the angry brown snake a little more over time. I remember going out with her and her reptile specialist husband, Johnno, on one of his field trips to collect death adders near Darwin. My partner John and I were in the back of the ute as he drove along a road between rice fields where he would jump out from time to time and bag one, only to toss it in the back with us! One thing I learned from our early time living in the upstairs flat from them in Glebe, where they were breeding Funnel web spiders to feed his study animals – death adders – life was never dull around Myf! A photo of her in the book, smiling while a python winds itself around her neck is a classic!
Whale rescues and her surprise at the bond she formed with one, her hundreds of efforts trying to trap wild Rock-ringtail possums in Kakadu, and I know she had to wear beekeepers kit at least at times to protect her from swarms of killer mosquitos, lost in the Kimberly among ‘dodgy mineshafts’ with a ‘team of blokes’, ‘waking up in the morning, la de la de la, walking down the sandy creek bed,’ and being confronted by a wild buffalo, one of the most dangerous animals you can encounter in the bush, the scientist in her even taking in that he pawed the ground with his left foot, so perhaps one part of the 7% of ‘left-handed’ creatures! How she escaped this situation is classic. She came off less well when her horse she was riding was attacked by a dog, ending in a 15-kilometre trek with a broken arm and a one-handed drive to hospital!
“But I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked.
“Oh, you can’t help that,” said the Cat: “we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.”
This quote from Alice in Wonderland seems particularly apt when I think of how Myf has crashed her way through life to contribute enormously to our understanding of the natural world, and perhaps this is how people have to be to do this work. So, it is not surprising that she has fought cancer with the same chutzpah, and now has given the world a wonderful collection of stories from her adventures to inspire new generations to get out there and go for it!”

Interview with Dr Ralph Moss – Podcast Released

Exciting news,

You can now listen to Dr Ralph Moss and I talk about using my anticancer strategy.

This aims to potentially combat cancer by suppressing biochemical pathways. This is complementary to traditional cancer treatments using primarily pre clinical evidence such as in vitro, in vivo and relevant human studies.

Click the link below to listen.

For more info about my strategy, you can go to: TargetCancerNaturally.com

 

NEW BOOK LAUNCH, WILD : Life Death Encounters with Wild Animals

My new book WILD Life Death Encounters with Wild Animals, true stories, is soon to be launched as both a Kindle E-Book and Paperback version. Launch Date is Monday 4th October 2021

This book is a compilation of my blog post series of encounters with wild animals.

I’d just like to thank all of you who have been reading my posts over the years. You have helped inspire me to write more and make sure my writing ‘fire stays alight.

The book description is;

“The compelling, dramatic series of white-knuckle encounters with a medley of wild animals keeps you turning the pages, feverish to know how Myfanwy manages to escape alive. A risk taker, she likes living life on the edge and in this adventure-packed memoir, you’ll discover how in the remote forests, deserts, and oceans of Australia, she sidestepped death not once but multiple times. If you fear snakes, spiders, sharks or dogs, this book is for you.

These stories span her childhood to adult encounters. They include incidents while traveling with her family to remote locations in Australia, to close calls with wild animals during biological fieldwork in Kakadu National Park in the Northern Territory. Other incidents happened while surfing and riding her beloved horse.

Myfanwy’s curiosity and depth of understanding the behaviour of animals, is reflected in the way she describes these contacts with wild animals. Her stories interweave a love of animals and nature, with adrenalin and adventure.”

Some of the comments from my series, posted here include;

  • Maria said of Cujo- the Attack “I could picture it as if I was there”.
  • John said of El Toro – “Very clever and brave – El bloody Toro made me laugh aloud. What amazing bush experiences of wildness you have had – so exceedingly rare – I am jealous. I also learnt that you need agility to catch Rock Possums, so that’s one career lost to me.”
  • Ben – “Great stories about spideys, I love them myself!”
  • Bronwyn said of Eaten Alive- “Fantastic story!”
  • Angela said of Eaten Alive – “Oh wow a compelling story! Interesting behaviours demonstrated in the part of both fish and human!”

If you’d like to write a Review for this book send me an email at myfanwy@myfanwywebb.com and I’ll send you a free electronic copy.

(To be eligible to contribute to Amazon reviews, you need to have purchased $50 worth of books from Amazon in the past year).

Please share this link if you know someone who would enjoy these stories.

 

SHARED MEMORIES WITH STRANGERS

Magnolia etching by the Australian Artist Lionel Lindsay (brother to Norman Lindsay)

Asleep in a foreign house, I’ll half wake thinking I’m in my childhood room with the adjoining terracotta tiled veranda just outside. After a moment I realise I am not there at all. Nor am I at my current home with the leaning eucalypts that seem to peer inside the bedroom.

This fuzzy, disconnecting feeling happened a lot recently during a week away, maybe because the flowering gardens of the holiday rental reminded me of my original family home, which was full of assorted pink and white azaleas and the green brown leaves of the magnolia tree. My subconscious mind began to go back in time. I’d wander along the silent neighbourhood streets full of opulent park-like gardens full of spring colour. I have not ridden my pushbike or run with my dog along these streets for 32 years. My memories were forged during thirteen years of living in a heritage house set on a leafy suburban quarter-acre block. Memories that are spiced rich with smell, colour, textures and feelings.

Somehow, just a few days after that first trip away since months of covid, I ended up driving by the house I grew up in on my way home from a trip to Sydney. What happened next squashed that disconnected, fuzzy feeling but has also given me a mind-bending riddle that I’m just now figuring out.

As I drove by my childhood home, I noticed a yellow development sign pinned to the low green and cream brick wall. This is the border wall that’s framed by a massive, native Lillipilly tree that the stingy caterpillars love. Parking the car, I walked over and read that the development is for another dwelling. As I was trying to figure out where exactly this would be, a young bloke carrying stuff for a council pickup walked down the gravel driveway to the grass near me. I asked him if he lives here and he said yes. Without thinking, I quickly said “I did too”. Then I asked him about the development. We ended up swapping stories about living there and I bombarded the poor guy with a bunch of questions, although he didn’t seem to mind.

No, he hadn’t noticed the ghost of Australian artist Lionel Lindsay who lived there too but his mum may have.

Yes, he’s seen the statue commemorating Lionel up at the park.

Yes, it is a really cool house in a heat wave (I felt that cool dry air relief as I whooshed in the door after walking home from school on a hot summer’s day)

Yes, the view from the top of the two 120 year old magnolia trees is pretty good. (I now saw into the hidden garden across the road and felt that exhilaration of climbing up high).

The pool is a lot of upkeep, and the little pond is still there. (I could see the light blue ripples as the sunlight sparked into the pool and I smelt the earthy dark waters of the tiny pond).

Yes, he’s seen lots of the funnel webs too.

Funnel web spider in attack position

As we talked, I could look right up the orange gravel drive to the far porch and apart from a flowering white climber stretching to the roof, and a BMW parked in the drive, the scene looked unchanged since my childhood. I kept noticing the wrong car and the image kept pulling me back to the present. But then I’d be remembering standing right there as a kid, talking about how my cattle dog bailed up a Funnel Webb spider under the flowering wisteria that draped over the pergola out the back. His dog did the same thing and he was worried, but I said I was worried too but then found out dogs are immune to the spider’s venom. Then I pointed to the gutter nearest us and told the guy that there was a funnel web spider there one night. While I was on a roll talking about spiders, I pointed to the gravel drive and recast how I had trodden barefoot on a huntsman spider in the dark that bit me.  We talked about the neighbours and how the bushy creek at the end of the road is gone now and how I used to cut the lawn edges along the gutter with a manual rotor tool and how just this month I bought one for my place after all these years.

I think what really helped me consolidate my childhood memories of living in that house, was the easy flowing conversation with a young man who was gathering his own happy memories of living there. Every ten years or so I have driven past my childhood house, and I’m afraid to admit, it jarred me to look at the ‘new’ tasteful steel fence and the different orange plants and neat hedges. Now, this sensation dissolved thanks to a short but powerful story-swapping conversation with a stranger.

My bedroom opened out to this veranda (I took this photo ready for dancing for my 18th Birthday)

 

Jean Lindsay circa 1900 – 1910

After leaving the house, I drove the exact route I’d taken as a kid, threading through the streets where I’d take off on my bike or with the dog. My choice of streets meant I avoided the steep hills and traffic and the route took me past my favourite gardens. I noticed during the slow drive that the real estate looked more polished than I remember. What I found interesting, was as I instinctively turned into the various streets and recognised the scenery, it felt easy and okay. Just like during that conversation. I expected it to feel familiar, but the discomfort was gone. This surprised me. Remembering the free-flowing bike rides here felt good. This remembering may be the past, but the past is as real as the present as I drove my same childhood route decades later. I’m still not sure how to describe this but it feels like some sort of validation of my past and childhood and all that good stuff that goes with it. Not something to forget but rather to remember and cherish.

Me as a kid at home

The final layer I discovered when delving into this concept of shared memories is how we share connections to special things. One of those special things for me I share with Lionel Lindsay. A man I never met but nonetheless, as a kid, I had felt his somewhat judgmental vibe whilst growing up in his old house. One thing I didn’t divulge during the conversation with the current inhabitant, is that once or twice in the last few decades I drove past the house around Christmas time and I’d stop and snap off a monster sized magnolia flower from one of the two old trees, to take home. These are one of my favourite flowers. They are the size of a dinner plate and emit a heavy heady scent. The petals are thick and smooth and shine with a regal ivory colour.

I planted a magnolia tree in the garden where I currently live. It signifies home and is grounding to look at even if I feel a twinge of discord. I don’t think I’ll feel that twinge anymore.

Like me, Lionel admired the very same two magnolia trees and their repeated flux of flowers every year. The blooms inspired him to create beautiful artwork. They may also have become an anchor for him as they are for me. One of his magnolia works is entitled “Lionel’s Place”.

The young fella told me that after the recent big storms, the arborists said how they are amazed at how solid and strong those two huge Magnolia trees are. I love that. I’d say Lionel would too.

 

My magnolia I’ve planted at my home now

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You can read more memoir stories here.